G: Couldn't Sleep

PG-13 (Strong violence or language used)

[Go to bottom] | | |

DAZZLER: Ali was a little intoxicated on her own thoughts. After the movie she'd stuck around for some social interaction then fled the building. She'd taken her bike for a long drive and had finally returned to the institute well after most people were asleep.

Sitting on the front steps of the school she'd sipped her Volt and thought about the past month and half. She'd relived the five months before the past month and half. Every interaction with Longshot had buzzed through her mind. She'd analyzed and reanalyzed every moment with him.

When had it all gone wrong? When had he stopped trusting her to journey with him through his past? When had her love stopped being enough?

Every scene was now painted in a different color. His smiles were painted in taunting gray colors and his words were more flimsy. He hadn't wanted to get intimate with her at all in the beginning. She had always introduced him to kissing and holding hands. She'd always initiated it. Maybe he had never wanted her like that at all, but she'd forced him into it. The times they'd spent together had probably been a burden on him. Or maybe a distraction from his overwhelming fear of never knowing his past.

Now she was in limbo. Alex was… Alex. He was someone she had an interest in. For the past two weeks she'd been using his age to give her a reason to not chase him. Or allow him to catch her. That had never been Ali's style. When she liked a guy she would never hold back from getting the ball rolling. It was insane that she hadn't just told Alex two weeks ago that she was starting to think of him as more than a friend.

Longshot had put fear and uncertainty in her. She wasn't bold because she feared love and relationships because of how Longshot had left her.

"I'll be damned," she sputtered as she stared at the place of her new, small tattoo on her wrist. It was a little purple star. The skin around the tattoo was red and puffy under it's bandage.

A part of Ali that had been lost had resurfaced. It settle in place and took a molding to her.

Taking two steps at a time she climbed the stairs to the level where Alex's dorm was. Then she moved with determination to Alex's door and knocked loudly. If she couldn't sleep then he wouldn't either. If he rejected her that was fine, as long as she'd put it out there. She'd been playing enough with herself and her fears. Alison Blaire was a risk taker, Damn it! And this risk, regardless of what people would think, was worth it!

Alex Powers was worth it!

When Alex had opened the door for her she started on a long, unprepared monologue. The desperation, confusion, frustration and exhaustion was evident as she rambled.

"Lies, we’re liars… Us in the Entertainment Industry! Think about it, why do people listen to these songs and dance and quote the lyrics? It's not because they wanna say how they feel, people listen to songs cause they can't say how they feel or they're afraid too. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Lets level with America at least let them speak for themselves right? I mean listen, listen. What is that song lyric? “And I’ve got a love song to sing, tellin’ the world about the joy you bring. And oooo, you taught me, you taught me the meaning of giving.” How about “You taught me to the meaning of Not so Sure and how to fear shit." Or, what’s the stupid Shanya Twain one? The one about loving each other forever? I can’t remember which one because all she writes is that shit! Isn't that sweet? Ain't love grand? "Love is the answer!" This is exactly what I'm talking about. What does that even mean? Love! Do you know? Do you? It's these Hallmark cards, and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything. We're responsible. I'M responsible. I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not ya know, some words that some stranger put in their mouth. Words like love, that don't mean anything. Sorry, I'm sorry, I um, I should have called before I stopped by. I just – I couldn’t get to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking about how fucked up I’ve let myself get over Longshot and this fantasy that two people are just magically meant to be together. But life isn't like that. Love isn't like that. Love isn't perfect. It's-it's messy and weird and unpredictable and unrecognizable… sometimes."

She paused, mostly out of need to breath. She looked at the boy in front of her and kept his eyes. "I guess what I'm saying is-" and without further unnecessary words, Alison Blaire said everything she needed to say to Alex in a simple kiss.

Message 1 of 5. [#35637]

Summary: DAZZLER has a thought and shares it with POWERHOUSE at the Midnight hour.

Where: XI: Boys Dorms;

When: Late Night, Jul 24, 2010;

OOC: I was watching (500) days of Summer and it inspired me. :D Hope you don't mind, Ryan.

Tags: POWERHOUSE, LONGSHOT

POWERHOUSE: Alex had absolutely no hope of sleeping. He’d been laying on his back staring up at the ceiling which itself was barely visible save for the limited moonlight from the window, and all he’d managed to do was run his mind in circles like a dog chasing its tail. Falling asleep meant relaxing and he couldn’t get his mind to shut off long enough to do that. At least two hours had gone by and what made matters worse was that trying to not think involved thinking itself, so all it created was one big clusterfuck.

Just as he was starting to drift off – more the result of his mind being worn out beyond belief and his body finally bending from the rigors of the day’s earlier training – a resounding knock beat against the door to Alex’s room.

Still in a groggy, half-asleep state, he stumbled out of bed and made his way to the door, not even bothering to put on anything aside from the boxers he wore to bed to begin with. He wasn’t even sure if he was actually awake or dreaming; and if it was a dream, was there really a point to worrying about getting dressed?

On the other side of the door was a very wired and very frazzled Alison. She started in on a rant – not an angry one, but it was difficult to read because of the pace it was coming at. He was about to answer that the lyric she quoted was Marvin Gaye’s, but she kept going without even waiting for an answer to be given. Maybe the question was rhetorical?

[DAZZLER] “Sorry, I'm sorry, I um, I should have called before I stopped by. I just – I couldn’t get to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking…”

Well, that makes two of us. It didn’t appear like he was going to get a word in edgewise yet.

“… But life isn't like that. Love isn't like that. Love isn't perfect. It's-it's messy and weird and unpredictable and unrecognizable… sometimes.

Love?! What the heck is she talking about? She mentioned Longshot just before she brought up love. Did she just wake me out of bed for a breakup speech to a relationship we never even had?

Finally Alison paused, very obviously short on breath. And Alex was left still trying to figure out all of what she’d just said; it was a lot to process… a big convoluted lot for this late at night. Then her eyes locked onto his and before he even realized it her lips pressed into his. She kissed him!

Instinctively his hands came to rest on the balls of her hips. The kiss itself wasn’t tawdry or even really PG, but all the same a certain calming warmth washed over Alex’s body and consciousness. Something about that moment just felt… right.

“I don’t love you,” were the first words that left his lips when he settled back, hands still cradling her waist. “Fuck… I don’t mean it like that.”

“Damn it, I didn’t mean to say fuck.”

What he meant was… well… really fucking complicated and yet at the same time not. Alex was afraid. Afraid of feeling like he didn’t have control. Afraid of saying the wrong thing. Afraid of wanting something he was sure he was only going to fuck up because he didn’t know what he was doing. It was the fear that shown most prominently in his eyes at first. But then, for the first time, it seemed that his fear turned on itself. It was like when people in life-threatening situations suddenly developed keener senses, a sort of innate survival mechanism.

His right hand left her hip and drew up her side, cradling her chin with a bent knuckle, as he leaned in and kissed her again. That warmth washed over him again, sealing his fate and giving him that sort of ‘now or never’ confidence.

If you’ve got any hope of making this work… you have to level with her.

“What I mean is…” and then Alex’s own floodgates opened. “I don’t know how to love or even really what love is. You already know about what a crock my parents’ relationship is, but that’s just the thing. What’s supposed to be my example for what love is is well… a total train wreck. All I’ve really got for reference are those movies and books and lyrics, but they still come across to me as not having any context. They just seem so pointless… and I know they’re not supposed to be… I know I’m rambling, but what I’m trying to get at is that it all seems so pointless, except when I’m with you. With you it’s different, and I don’t know why.”

Alex’s features softened as he looked deep into her eyes into a small, warm smile.

“I'm really messed up right now… well… I’ve been for almost as long as I can remember. And I’ve got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I have to, right?”

It was simple and honest, more honest than he'd been with anyone in a long, long time. He really had no idea what he was doing… and it scared him to death. But at the same time - for the first time - the fear of not knowing was kind of exciting.

“So what do we do? What do we do?”

Message 2 of 5. [#35706]

Summary: Alex is bowled over by DAZZLER's forwardness, but slowly finds revelation in the moment and a newfoound lease on life.

With: DAZZLER, POWERHOUSE

Where: XI: Boys Dorms;

When: Late Night, Jul 24, 2010;

OOC: Oh Garden State, always there when I need you! ;)

Tags: DAZZLER, LONGSHOT

DAZZLER: Ali had barely noticed that Alex was half naked when she'd started her ranting. His bare chest and shoulders completely visible and now she noticed it. She'd seen him in his swim trunks before, but this was different. Thin boxers was different than swim trunks. It was more vulnerable.

[POWERHOUSE]“I don’t love you,”

"I don't love you either!" Ali quickly spat out in a shocked return. Had she said she'd loved him? The retorted words slipped from her mouth before she could think! She liked him, but she hadn't meant to make it sound like she was in love with him.

[POWERHOUSE]“Fuck… I don’t mean it like that. Damn it, I didn’t mean to say fuck.”

It was uncomfortable now. Alison hadn't meant to make it seem that she was professing her love to Alex. It wasn't love. She didn't know him like that, yet. What she had meant to say was she wasn't afraid to move forward with him and to quit dancing around what they were feeling for each other.

Though he was two years younger than him, though she was still battling the hurt of Longshot's departure, no one saw anything worth having in Alex and wouldn't understand her attraction Alison was willing to give it a try.

Embarrassed about having kissed him - it had just felt right at the time - and for talking without thinking, Ali looked down at her shoes. If I leave now maybe he'll think it was all a dream and won't remember in the morning.

She had started to turn to leave when he moved to cradle her chin. The electricity in his gentleness caused a little light coloring from her mutant powers. Ali pushed the reaction down forcefully. Then his lips met her again and her control fluttered away allowing a soft pink glow to come forth just under her skin.

[POWERHOUSE] “What I mean is…I don’t know how to love or even really what love is.… except when I’m with you. With you it’s different, and I don’t know why. I'm really messed up right now…… I mean, I want to. I have to, right?”

Ali tried to follow along with his own long ramble. She thought she understood where he was going with it all, but then he took a detour. He was messed up and he knew it. She knew it. He didn't know how to care for anyone. Anyone who could see past Alex's bullshit could see that. It was him 'having to' date her that was causing her pause.

She didn't want to push him. If he wasn't ready. Her thoughts were interrupted with the conclusion of his honest, simple rant.

[POWERHOUSE]“So what do we do? What do we do?”

A faint smile came across her lips and she held back the desire to laugh at their situation. Instead a slight shrug rose and fell on her shoulders. "I don't know," she said softly.

"I guess… " she said slowly, meeting his eyes. Her hands slipped down on top of his hands, which lay gently on her hips. She didn't push his hands off of hers, just simply united with them. "… we'll just have to try to figure our messed up shit out together."

It didn't need to be stated that Alison was going to have to learn to trust that Alex wouldn't run off in the middle of the night the way Artie did. Alex had seen how torn up she'd been when Artie had left her. She still wasn't completely over him. The two of them would have to simply put up with each other as they figured their own shit out.

"Unless," she added, "You don't think it's worth the risk."

Message 3 of 5. [#35712]

Summary: DAZZLER puts out the challenge for POWERHOUSE.

With: DAZZLER, POWERHOUSE

Where: XI: Boys Dorms;

When: Late Night, Jul 24, 2010;

OOC: Garden State the movie? I haven't seen that in forever.

Tags: POWERHOUSE

POWERHOUSE: Okay… so far so good. Or at least, Alex had been candid and open and hadn’t spontaneously combusted or brought about the End of Days. The immediate result, or rather lack thereof, didn’t keep his heart from racing though; some small piece buried away in the back of his mind insisted that no good could come of this kind of candor.

As the corners of Alison’s mouth curled upward in a smile, that small little voice was muted just a little bit more.

There was something to that smile, something that lit him up on the inside like everyone always said kids were supposed to when they came running down the stairs on Christmas morning. Christmas morning at the Power household was another ritual performance of show for all those not in the Power family. And when her hands came to rest on his, all the tiny hairs on his body stood on end in sensation as though charged by electricity. Which it kind of was.

There was something though, in her eyes that caused him to check returning the smile: She wavered a little. This was most definitely a complicated situation for her too and not just him. Was she second guessing this now that she realized he was actually onboard with it?

"Unless," she added, "You don't think it's worth the risk."

This was what had been gnawing at Alex for some time. Questioning whether he shouldn’t just try and suppress the feelings like he’d done so many other emotions in the past out of fear that letting them be known would risk the one true friendship he’d established. That was back when he’d never expected his feelings to be reciprocated though; it was amazing how much of a life-altering difference five minutes could really have.

Five minutes ago he would have flip-flopped back and forth fifty times over and never come to a decision. Now… there was no way he was letting this go. He pressed his forehead against Ali’s, their eyes barely inches apart.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything was more worth it in my life,” he said softly, the sort of answer that should only be for the two of them and not the rest of the world.

“One condition, though…” he added, looking down for a moment as his hand traced fingertips over the top of her forearm that still showed with tiny speckles of iridescent pink. “You’ve got to promise to do this whenever I kiss you. It’s actually really cute.”

Message 4 of 5. [#35775]

Summary: Alex is up to DAZZLER's challenge, but gives one of his own too.

With: DAZZLER, POWERHOUSE

Where: XI: Boys Dorms;

When: Late Night, Jul 24, 2010;

OOC: Yes, Garden State the movie. Makes you really appreciate how great a writer Zach Braff is.

Tags: DAZZLER

DAZZLER: [POWERHOUSE]“I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything was more worth it in my life,”

Relief! Sweet, precious relief! Ali had come up to his room not knowing what he'd think or say. She had an inclination that he had a thing for her, but she could have been wrong and humiliated. Plus, she was sure, Alex wouldn't have let her live it down had he not wanted her.

Smiling happily she paused in doubt as he continued.

[POWERHOUSE] “One condition, though…You’ve got to promise to do this whenever I kiss you. It’s actually really cute.”

She giggled at herself for showing her emotions on her sleeve. The fact that he liked it only tickled her more. "I'll try," she said with a genuine smile.

So there it all was. It was out on the table. She, a misfit pop star with a broken heart, and He, a sophomore misunderstood asshole, were going to try to follow their feelings and see where it took them. This is almost as daring as bungee jumping, Ali thought as she moved her hands to intertwine with him.

"But we Cannot be that sickeningly cute couple that can only suck face in front of people!" Ali said with a fake, stern voice. It was odd to see Alex so soft and sincere, but she found she liked him more this way. Though she doubted that vulnerable Alex would always be present - especially in front of people.

Message 5 of 5. [#35842]

Summary: DAZZLER makes a final demand to POWERHOUSE.

With: DAZZLER, POWERHOUSE

Where: XI: Boys Dorms;

When: Late Night, Jul 24, 2010;

OOC: Sorry Ryan, it's not the best post I've ever written. :P

Tags: POWERHOUSE

[Go to top]